Day 6!

Hello friends!

I am a few days behind in posting! Only 6 days into this and I'm falling back! BUT- I have met all of my goals each day. I just have been cramming for my CSET so I have not been able to write. I'm getting caught up today and tomorrow!

My test is tomorrow from 8:00 to 1:00 PST. If you think of it, can you pray for me? I waited too long to start preparing and had my son home sick from school most of this week. There is SO MUCH science information that I simply cannot retain it all, and much of it I do not understand as it is new information for me. If I had a month to prepare I would feel better! The math is going great- got almost all the practice questions right (with notes... so have to commit those formulas to memory today!) Part 2 of the test is Phys Ed, human development, music & the arts. Haven't read a thing but took the practice tests and scored very well. I think one read through will be fine for that. So really, the science is the issue! Lord, a miracle, please!

I found out that I do not need this test to substitute teach, just to start an internship. And since my fellows students have not been hired as interns (and they have general ed credentials and tons of classroom experience already) I'm fairly certain I won't be in the running for an Internship this semester anyway. So, all that to say, I face this test tomorrow in good spirits. If I fail the science section I will take it again in March and will be much more prepared!!! :)

Okay, the "heart" part of my journey:

In the 6th chapter of The Purpose Driven Life Rick Warren goes into greater detail regarding two of the three life metaphors. Remember that I am seeking to align my life's metaphor (which is such a downer) with God's... I think this will cure the pessimism! :) The first of the three life metaphors is that Life is a Test. Okay, so that really doesn't sound like much fun! And hey, aren't I taking a big "&#*" test tomorrow?

Life is a test.

Great. :) No, really, I mean, GREAT!!!!

Character is both developed and refined by test, and all of life is one. According to Warren, I am always being testing. He suggests that God is constantly watching my response to:

• people
• problems
• success
• conflict
• illness
• disappointment
• weather - does it mean something that I choose to live in a geographic location where there essential is no "weather?" ha-ha.

And, he says you can predict some tests. In scripture an intentional test that God takes one through is His distance. "God is not near." 2 Chronicles 32:31. I've felt that before! How have I done in that test? I know, always, always, always, that even if I do not feel Him near, He is near. For He will never leave me or forsake me.

But what about those other areas? The matter of me being a pessimist is something I say in "tongue and cheek", but think of what my response to those items listed above might be if I am a pessimist. It ain't pretty! Wow. Lord, change me. I want to repsond to people the way you would, to see them through your eyes and to accept them truly as they are. God, what do you want me to learn about problems? That you will work them all out for my good? I'm not completely sure how to handle them, except that I often handle them incorrectly. And sometimes I just ignore them because I do not know what else to do. And God, let's discuss that conflict. Hmmm... I'm seriously bad at that. I work through it on my own, never giving the other party their opportunity to confront an issue or grow from it. Then I announce to myself, "I'm over it" and I move on okay... or I think I'm okay until the matter comes up again. I'd like to be more like my friend Teri on this subject. She is so good at confronting issues in love and making the other person really feel valuable.

Bottom line- I need to grow in all these ares. Lord, change me.

Now here is the candy in all this test business, "Because all of life is a test, nothing is insignificant in my life." Did you hear that?! WOWZA! Oh my, do I love that!!!! Seriously, in light of that I can confidently say, bring on the test! I have my number 2 pencil all sharpened and I am ready to go! That's the "optimist's" response to "life is a test." In Psalms it reads, "The Lord will perfect all that concerns me." I have always believed that to mean that God is in the details. Nothing is too insignificant for Him. Nothing.

"Everyday is an important day and every second is a growth opportunity to deepen your character, demonstrate love, or to depend on God." Rick Warren

And here is the best news... in I Corinthians 10:13, God promises you the grace to pass the test. For He will never allow you to be tested beyond your ability to endure, but he will always provide the means of escape to a landing place (paraphrased loosely from the Amplified Bible.)

Stand up and take notice! Every time you pass a test, God notices and makes plans to reward you in eternity (rw). Woo-hoo! James 1:2, "Blessed are those who endure when they are tested. When they pass the test they will receive the crown of life god has promised to those who love Him."

I just had a thought... think of how different my life would look if I renewed my mind on these promises every day. (just a side note here)

Okay- second life metaphor: Life is a trust.

I initially thought this to mean, "Yes, I need to trust God." But what Pastor Warren is suggesting is that God has entrusted me. Hmmmm.... that puts it into a new light. I am steward of everything God has given me personally: intelligence, talents, opportunities, resources... my marriage, my husband, my son. That's seriously weighty stuff. How well am I being a steward of the people God has put into my life? How am I treating Todd & Quinn? How much time am I spending with Quinn each day to help him overcome the challenges life that thrown at him at such a young age. Am I giving him the time he needs from me to grow, and to feel valuable and loved? And what about Todd? Does my husband feel wanted and respected? (Not every day, I am ashamed to admit.)

What am I doing with my talents, my opportunities and my money?

If God is entrusting me with all of this then the bottom line is it's not mine.

If I treat everything as a trust, then God promises three rewards in enternity:

1. His affirmation- what could be better?

2. His promotion- when He promotes me, no one can demote me because after all, He is God!

3. His celebration- partying with the creator of the universe? My RSVP is yes!

And here is a little "extra" for free:

How I manage my money determines how much God can trust me with spiritual blessings.

I always think of money and it's rewards in such tangible ways. I know that if I am faithful to God with my tithe and offering he will bless me physically for that in turn. But what about the spiritual blessing? What am I missing out spiritually (and eternally) on when I don't trust him in the area of money? Rhetorical... I'm still working through that.

Okay- life metaphor #3: Life is a temporary assignment. As I have written a lot on metaphors one and two and I have some serious studying to do in the area of science today, I will not elaborate anymore at this time. Bottom line- in light of eternity, my life on earth is like a sigh.

The "hard body" part:

Well, though I have been super busy I have not completely neglected my body and you know what? I feel great! The workouts are becoming more and more liberating for me. My back pain is subsiding quite a bit. And though the scale has not moved (oh yes, I'm still eating everything in sight... remember, nutrition is next week), my muffin top is shrinking. My jeans are fitting better. I have my "skinny" jeans on standby and am going to try them on Monday... as that will be the official "one week" (give or take a few days) of my journey.

The "head" part:

Well, on the head front you are already updated. Cramming for my CSET. All else pales in comparison regarding my "head" goals. I'll be able to move on to goal #2 after tomorrow.

My dear friends, as always THANK YOU for reading my blathering. I love working out my thoughts and feelings through my pen (that's a loose quote from Jane Austin... one of my favorite authors). It's cathartic. And the fact that someone would take the time to read it? BONUS! BLESSING!

Loving you (on purpose),

Natalie