Today is New Year’s Eve. It is this time of year I confront an important issue for me; I am a pessimist. I used to call myself a realist.
But let’s get real.
I’m a pessimist.
I have always looked down my nose on New Year’s resolutions. My thought has been, “If I can’t do it in June, why would I do it in January?” It just did not make sense to me. My husband, on the other hand, loves to makes New Year’s resolutions. He is an optimist! I love that about him. And so, I have watched him in New Year’s past through my pessimistic eye; make not one step in the direction of the resolution he has set for himself. Not because he’s not a truly great guy- he is. Not because he is not truly sincere, as he is. And not because he has not tried, because he has. But because, like me, he lacks that mystical blob within called “will power.”
You see, the pessimist in me does not believe in “will power.” I know this from practical experience. In my life when I have forced myself to do the things that I do not want to do, though I have had temporary success, I have not had lasting success. This is because I have not been consistent. The weight is gained, and the hair is cut. (You know the willful statements, “I am never gaining this weight back”… or “I am never cutting my hair again!”) So you see, the realist in me (or the pessimist, however full or empty the glass is) knows that I have little power over my will today. But, I do have the power to change over the course of my tomorrows. And that is what this blog is all about. And that truly is my New Year’s Resolution.
My New Year’s Resolution: Change me.
It’s actually less of a resolution and more of a prayer. Because I know that to change this year I cannot do it alone. I know that change in my attitude comes with change in my behavior, which comes from change in my belief system (thank you Dr. Phil). And I know I can’t change my belief system without the help of my savior. So, I am embarking on my “40 day change me” by seeking God, Jesus & the Holy Spirit first. I believe that everything else will follow.
The changed me will be healthier. She’ll be thinner (but not by much). She’ll be a better wife, mother, pet-mommy, sister, daughter and friend. She’ll be a more balanced person. That doesn’t mean she’ll be a perfect person. But she will have a renewed spirit, one that trusts in God completely. No more fear.
Knowing God better is my ultimate goal.
So I am going to spend today outlining my lofty, but obtainable goals. I will journal every day for the next 40 days about my experience.
Every day for the next 40 days will be purposeful regarding my body, mind & spirit (more on this in the next entry).
When I am done I will share the measurement of my waistline, the status of my “heart”, the status of my relationships, and the status of my career.
In the bible, God used “40 days” as a measurement for many things. In quoting Rick Warren from his incredible book The Purpose Driven Life:
The Bible is clear that God considers 40 days a spiritually significant time period. Whenever God wanted to prepare someone for his purposes, he took 40 days:
o Noah’s life was transformed by 40 days of rain.
o Moses was transformed by 40 days on Mt. Sinai.
o The spies were transformed by 40 days in the Promised Land.
o David was transformed by Goliath’s 40-day challenge.
o Elijah was transformed when God gave him 40 days of strength from a single meal.
o The entire city of Nineveh was transformed when God gave them 40 days to change.
o Jesus was empowered by 40 days in the wilderness.
o The disciples were transformed by 40 days with Jesus after his resurrection.
40 days with God, Jesus, the Holy Spirit, the Word, exercise, Todd, Quinn and my pen. Here we go!
To end this first entry I am going to quote one of my favorite authors and theologians, C.S. Lewis who wrote, “Prayer doesn’t change God. Prayer changes me.”
Amen and amen.
